Easier Said Than Done

One of my prayers has always been for me to be shown my blind spots. As wonderful as that sounds, that’s one of those prayers in line with asking for patience, the prayer sounds way easier than the reality.  Sooo yea I pray this prayer and then God lets me hear my thoughts. And contrary to my belief they were not that great. My optimism about life was not translating to my optimism about myself. 2020 was way harder on my psyche than I completely understood. I’ve always been sorta kinda hard on myself, so I have been working on giving myself a lot more grace. But in learning to give me grace there was this little annoying thing called my thoughts.

Blouse and Pants: Amazon The Drop @karenbritchick

Heels: Chinese Laundry via @thedrakecloset

Purse: Zara Headband: H&M

My most recent experiences had wreaked havoc on my ability to dream big and to believe in my purpose without reserve. I wasn’t giving myself enough hand claps, enough I am proud of you, enough good job Cree, enough you can do this Cree, etc. It was more like, are you doing enough, can you really do this, are you enough? The answer to those questions is yes by the way. But I had to start reaffirming those answers to myself. Because I was being so hard on myself, I began to question my own worthiness. If this sounds like you at all, don’t worry I am here to let you know that you are not alone. A work in progress over here. The operative word being progress. I know there are going to be days ahead where I feel more sassy and ready and days when I need a little push. And you know what that’s okay because it makes me human and it makes God the man. In my weakness, He is made strong.

I also had to think about the things that I allow into my thoughts. The music I listen to, what I watch, what I take in on social media. Whether we want to admit it or not these things matter. I know we like to think that we are strong enough all the time to filter out the negative, but we are all vulnerable at some point and to some level. No one is above our propensity to become what we surround ourselves with.  Monitoring the environment I create is important.

I am learning every day how to be a better me to me. It takes time, effort, and intentionality. If you know how to be kind to yourself then it translates to others. Your first Guinea pig should always be yourself. I am dedicated to doing the work that it takes to grow but also being kind to myself in the process. I believe that having that balance will keep me mentally and emotionally healthy.

With Love,

Cree