Here’s the story of a young woman who was in a very toxic relationship with a young man. After two years of being delusional that young woman decided to leave said young man. She went on to apply the lessons learned and figure out and walk in her purpose. She discovered the greatness that resided inside of her and ran with it. That young woman is me.
After many years of having no contact whatsoever with my ex and making sure that boundaries were clear, a little over a week ago he decided to try to reach out via Facebook messenger. The nice in me almost responded. But then I realized that I was under no obligation to respond. I have definitely moved on with my life. I am not angry or harboring resentment. I have simply just moved on. So I deleted the message and did not respond. I felt so empowered afterward because I made a decision based on what was best for me and not because I was worried about how he would feel.
As women we often feel guilty for not being nice. Why is that? I think because we are raised to believe that girls are made up of sugar and spice and everything nice. Ummm nope…now that I resent! We have the power of choice and to make decisions that are for our greater well-being. We do not have to ignore our feelings in order for the world to keep going around. Our feelings and peace of mind matter. I will admit I did have a conversation with myself about my decision and guilt tried to creep in. Like maybe he was just trying to be nice. But I realized it didn’t matter. I had made it very clear that I didn’t want contact and that I had moved on. So after reasoning through my feelings, your girl is good.
The past tried to creep in and try to take me back to who I used to be. But that girl no longer lives here. And I don’t have to apologize for the woman that I became, sorry not sorry. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to stop apologizing for being whole. The enemy will always try to take us back to brokenness in order to make us feel unworthy but I had to shut him down real quick. It took me a while to forgive myself for even being in that relationship, this is true. But I’m so good now and I made it out and through. So take it from me, don’t let anything or anyone steal your joy. Always remember that you always have the power of choice and the power to say no to the people and the things that no longer serve you or your purpose. “Tell’em boy bye,” Beyonce’